Farewell My Friend It was beautiful as long as it lasted The journey of my life. I have no regrets whatsoever save the pain I’ll leave behind. Those dear hearts who love and care… And the strings pulling at the heart and soul… The strong arms that held me up When my own strength let me down. At every turning of my life I came across good friends, Friends who stood by me, Even when the time raced me by. Farewell, farewell my friends I smile and bid you goodbye. No, shed no tears for I need them not All I need is your smile. If you feel sad do think of me for that’s what I’ll like when you live in the hearts of those you love, remember then you never die.
~ Rabindranath Tagore
For years now, I have felt lonely and lost in this place. I have been so seperated from that reality -freeworld that to see it on the news it was literally like watching a distant planet. The rules are different here. There is a society here that operates on principles that you don't know. I hope you never know. If you aren't careful you can be consumed by it. Absorbed into the walls, you become one with this hellhole.
I have been so divorced from society that I actually did not see video of the World Trade Center buildings coming down until two years after the fact. I didn't have a TV. I didn't even get one until after we invaded Iraq in 2003.
It's easy to be forgotten. Lots of people wrote in the beginning. People that I had vaguely come into contact with had these nice things to say about me and then there were quite a few that didn't have very nice things to say. But as the years rolle don, fewer and fewer people wrote . Folks moved on and had families and careers and lives. I became a distant memory. I accepted it. I was in a different place and for a long time, survival meant focusing on the here and now. You don't lose sight of this place for long. It'll be the end of you quicker than you can read these words.
This place is full of alpha males. If you aren't an alpha male, you damn well better get some of those traits fast. You have to be tough. You have to be strong. You have to be ready to fight anyone at anytime for any reason. And you have to be ready to do the same with yourself. So many days I have wanted the misery to end, for it to finally be over with. God, I hate this place. But you have to get up each morning running and put your mean mug on and pull that fight out of you and ride on, fight on. No matter how bad it is, you can't stop.
This struggle makes you hard. It 's made me hard. For the most part I have had to do this fight myself. I had to be tough, smart, determined. I couldn't let things get to me. I had to have tough, rawhide skin. I had to endure it all with a poker face that left me devoid of emotion. Emotions evince weakness here. No, none of that.
When I learned that I lost the 5th Circuit Court appeal, I kept my poker face. That's easier to do now. But what is extremely hard is trying to settle the consuming fear inside. For days, my insides felt like they were suffering from hypothermia. They shivered uncontrollably. It was exhausting to try and keep some measure of control. It would take my breath away and wear me out. I would pass out but not even sleep could bring relief. I felt the most alone then. And that is a fear all it's own.
Larry Matthew Puckett
by Larry Matthew Puckett
"It's my turn." Picture yourself on deck in a baseball game. The bat is in your hands and you feel the weight and texture of it as you do warm-up swings. The weather is perfect for a game and the crowd is enthusiastically involved. You step up to the plate with a tingling excitement coursing through you. You stare down the pitcher, daring him to pitch anything remotely to your liking. He ignores you, nodding his head at the catcher as they agree on a pitch that will trip you up. The pitch comes and in a second your mind calculates the speed and direction as your eyes never leave the ball. It's exactly what you want. Your body torques, swinging the bat; it connects with the ball with a resounding crack. The ball has left you quicker than it came to you and sails out of the park. As you make the circuit of bases the excitement in you can barely be contained. A huge smile crosses your face that you aren't even aware of. The thrill is wonderful. My turn. There is an inherent excitement that races through us when it's our turn at something. There are a myriad of examples where we can show our prowess or skill or knowledge; at work, at play, at whatever we are good at. "I can do this, and I love to prove it." My turn. Each of the above instances has the commonality of being voluntary. But what really matters is when it's your turn and you don't want it; when it's involuntary that you must "step up to the plate." My turn. Since I have been on death row Mississippi has executed four men. The most recent was October 2006. it was his turn and as each day progresses, as each appeal is denied it's one more closer to my turn. "Please God, don't let it be my turn." Now picture yourself surrounded by big burly men with firm grips on you as they direct you to the execution chamber. The excitement and base fear course through you like no other time in your life. You sweat, you pant, you want them to stop. They won't, they can't, the whole process is inexorable. Ironically, at the moment of your death your body proves to you are the most alive. Everything in you is on heightened alert. Your skin is flushed with heat and goose flesh. Your body pumps adrenaline through you as fast as it can be produced and you suck oxygen until you are on the verge of hyperventilating. You plead for mercy but there are no ears to hear. You don't even get up on the table yourself or lay down because the officers have forcibly done it for you. (Each participant has been thinking about how it was their own 'turn' to complete some task in your death.) They strap you down across the chest, at the wrists, elbows, waist, thighs, and ankles. Once "secure", they prick your arm with a needle that will be your end. It's just too close for comfort for me. I know how close my turn is and it even makes my heart race to write about a sequence of events that I am, at present, safely removed from. It has to come, I can't stop it. The prospect alone is just too damn close for comfort.
- Larry Matthew Puckett
by Larry Matthew Puckett
Losers Forever... Until..... One of the most profound experiences of my life involved shoes. In 1994 I went to Washington DC on a school trip. I was in the 11th grade. We saw all the major tourist spots; the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument, the Capitol, the White House, etc. We also saw the Smithsonian and its huge museums. They have one called the Holocaust Museum. As part of the exhibit of World War II depravity they always have a huge case of shoes. These shoes were taken off Jewish prisoners before they were exterminated. Ms. Greer was my history teacher during this trip. She taught me a great deal about World War II and sparked a lifelong interest in the subject. She even organized a school field trip to see the wonderfully provocative movie, Schindler's List (everyone should see this movie. If you have not, it's about a wealthy industrialist who tried to save many Jews from the hands of the Nazis). But it was not until I stood before that display case of those shoes that I got one of those slap-you-in-the-face comprehensions. Shoes! Shoes that seem so inconsequential in and of them brought an understanding that movies, pictures, books, and even Ms. Greer could not. Schindler's List was a black and white movie that had one scene that involved a little girl with a pink coat on. The dramatic effect was undeniable, unavoidable. The same holds true for the way the shoes grabbed my sleepy subconscious and roughed it up a bit. By winning World War II the Allies were able to stop the Holocaust. We were all winners in that respect. But we soon become losers once we forgot the terrible tragedy of that war. Ms. Greer asked at the beginning of the school year why we should study history. The paramount answer was to learn from other people's mistakes. To learn. That's a verb, an action. It's something you must constructively do. We cannot be a winner in any sense of the word until we learn to prevent atrocities like the Holocaust from happening again. In truth we have not learned as a society and can be nothing less than the grand losers of mankind. Holocausts occur every day of our lives and yet how many of them are you aware of? Africa seems to have more than one Holocaust going on at one time. AIDS kills millions of Africans every year and yet there is at best a surface familiarity with it. Our morality should be screaming in outrage that our fellow human beings are suffering so. Add to the misery by recognizing Africa's abject poverty and the massacres in the Darfur province of Sudan. Africa's misery does not stop there. Look closer to home and we see Holocausts occurring on our soil everyday. The murder rate in this county is astronomical, and it seems to catch little and fleeting interest. That rate doesn't take into account the millions of abortions performed here every year. Legal or not legal we shouldn't believe that there should be more. I doubt anyone, for or against, feels that it is good for us. Holocausts don't have to deal solely with people dying. We have an educational holocaust that ought to piss people off. But no, there is little complaint; little that lasts longer than the nightly news program. An education is a lifelong endeavor. It should be comprehensive and inspiring during the formative years of our children. That will, in turn, hopefully foster a genuine desire to learn throughout one's life. During World War II the Nazis burned books; in our country we let them collect dust. If they are not being used and learned from the result is the same. Leaving books in the dust people race to other mediums, i.e. television. There are some really great programs out there, but they aren't aired during prime time, the time of optimum viewing. How informative, how educational is our programming when the story of the day is why Jen and Brad broke up or whether Britney's breasts are real. Are people too stupid to care? Are they so clueless that they can't desire the real issues in life. Sadly, the answer for both is an emphatic YES. Our politicians are our representatives. They stand for our beliefs, our worldviews (well they're supposed to anyway). There is a representational holocaust in our country. If politicians represent who we are then they are every citizen. Sure looks like a criminal; a slick, sleazy, shyster. That's why our political system is breeding like rabbits. Why is it now the norm for there to be criminal investigators for so many politicians? How could we let our system lose so much esteem? We will be winners when we can stand proud with out knowledge in our head, courage in our heart, and morality as our standard. We will be winners when "the government of the people, by the people, for the people," means exactly that. When we take the following quotations to heart and actually, fervently, passionately, believe in them: "If an activity is not grounded in 'to love' and 'to learn' it does not have any value" (Anne Rice). "At his best, man is the noblest of all animals, separated from law and justice, he is the worst"(Aristotle). Until we do these things as a society we will be forever losers. -Larry Matthew Puckett
Larry Matthew Puckett was convicted of Capital Murder in August of 1996 and has been on Death Row at Parchman, MS since then. Matt and his family and friends have maintained his innocence from the beginning and have worked all this time to prove that he did not commit this horrible crime.
Matt was only 18 years old and until he was charged with this crime, he had never been in any kind of legal trouble. He was the first Eagle Scout ever at his high school and was honored for that distinction at an awards ceremony just days before he graduated from high school. He was a good loyal son and friend to all who knew him. When Matt was in his senior year of high school, his Dad suffered a heart attack and was unable to work for a time. Matt stepped up and not only went to school but worked and contributed his entire paycheck to help out until his Dad was able to return to work. Matt was scheduled to leave for the Navy the week after this crime was committed. He had everything going for him and no reason or motive to commit a murder.
Matt's attorney's have been working on his case diligently, but
unfortunately, we have reached a brick wall in every direction and time is running out for us to prove that Matt is innocent. Please sign this petition to help us save Matt's life by asking the Governor of the State of Mississippi to commute Matt's sentence from Death to Life without the possibility of parole. We would much rather see Matt freed entirely, but right now our only chance is for the Governor to grant this request. We need more time!! Matt's last appeal is currently in front of the US Supreme Court but the justices are expected to rule by January 16, 2012. If we are turned down, the Mississippi Attorney General will set an execution date for 30 days out. That gives us no longer than February 17.
If you believe in Matt because you know him or because you know someone who knows and believes in him, please help us by signing this petition and encouraging others to sign.
You can also sign because you believe that the Death Penalty is wrong and that it should be abolished in the State of Mississippi and in the United States of America.
http://www.change.org/petitions/save-matt-puckett-stop-an-innocent-man-from-being-executed?share_id=DtYwggjZpr&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter via @change
